The panel you said yes to (and immediately regretted)

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You say “yes” to another panel invitation and immediately wonder if there’s a German word for deep existential regret with a professional smile.

You don’t really have time.

But you’re flattered.

And you don’t want to let anyone down.

And technically, you could squeeze it in if you just worked a little later next week…

Sound familiar?

So many of us move through academic life juggling nice requests like this — not because we’re disorganised or fragile, but because the culture quietly rewards patterns of saying ‘yes’ all the time.

What if instead of trying to fix ourselves, we started questioning the systems that make boundary-setting feel selfish, or saying “no” feel like career sabotage?

Here are a few things that can help:

• Checking in: Does this actually align with what I care about right now?

• Practising “no” in low-stakes situations so it feels less scary when it counts.

• Noticing where guilt drives your calendar more than intention does.

• Allowing things to be done, not perfect.

• Letting discomfort be a sign of growth, not failure.

• Setting a protocol for how many of these kinds of things you do every year.

These are mindset shifts, and like any real change, they take time, tools, and support.

But they’re worth it.

Because you and your work deserve time and space to think and chill.