Every academic I coach has a version of The Pile. The unread emails. The admin tasks you meant to “just quickly” do. The forms. The approvals. The Moodle updates.

I was speaking with a prospective client recently during a consultation (any of you can book one of these for free btw, here) and we were laughing about the emails that begin with “just a gentle nudge…”

When you feel like everyone else is miles ahead. You have an unnerving sense of low-grade panic when you look around the department and think, “How is everyone doing so much?”

It happens to the best of us. We start the day with good intentions.  Make a bit of progress on that article, maybe finish that grant section, get on top of the admin backlog…

You tell yourself you’re not avoiding the grant, you’re just thinking it through. You’ll just wait until you have more time to spend on it, the framing’s sharper, the funder’s clearer.

You don’t just like things done well. You like them done right. Your way. On time. With proper references and perfectly indented bullet points.

Last week we talked about how saying no in academia often just bounces right back at us. But before we even get there, many of us struggle with saying yes in the first place—for one simple reason: FOMO.

You get a request from your line manager and finally gear yourself up to say no. You’ve rehearsed it in your head. You’ve read these newsletters and maybe a book about it. You’re ready.

Academia trains you to remember the failures: The rejected paper.; The grant you didn’t get; The reviewer who thought your entire life’s work was “unclear.”

“This semester will be different,” you whisper as you colour-code your calendar. It’s September, and right now you’re full of optimism and good intentions. And yet… here’s how it usually goes:

Every September you make the same promise to yourself: “This semester will be different. I’ll actually protect my time better and get some research done.” And then? Teaching, admin and email overload hit like a tonne of bricks. Your calendar explodes.

Let’s talk about tired. Not all tired is created equal. And you know this. There’s the kind of tired that feels terrible.

Let’s talk about the sneakiest perfectionist habit in the room: obsessive tracking. At first, it feels empowering.  You’ve got your shit together!

Some people’s best thinking turns up with the sunrise. Others find it waiting for them at midnight. If you’re the latter, you already know the signs…

Isn’t it strange. Vice-chancellors seem oddly chill, even when the whole institution is on fire. Meanwhile, most academics I know are one meeting away from meltdown.

Tired of being overlooked while others shine? Your work deserves to be seen. Visibility isn’t vanity—it’s power. Stop waiting. Start showing up. The cost of staying hidden is too high.

Most of us were raised on a steady diet of gold stars, merit systems, award certificates, badges and maybe even a princess castle progression chart.  It felt good to be recognised!  It still does, of course.

So many women—especially high-achieving women in academia—have been taught, explicitly or not, that it’s our job to make things easier for others.  To be helpful and nice.

One of my clients dialled into a call from her exciting international location again this morning. And she told me she wrote the ENTIRE grant application…

If you’re an academic in the UK right now, you’re probably marking. Or putting off marking.  Or talking to anyone who’ll listen about how you’re dying from marking.